


when life gives u lemons

by orphan_account



Category: Jeremy - Fandom
Genre: F/M, bitches aint shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-16
Updated: 2019-08-16
Packaged: 2020-09-01 23:36:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,704
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20266381
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jeremy is 7 foot 9





	when life gives u lemons

**Author's Note:**

> please read the first Jeremy au as this is the sequel

When the world is falling apart around you,

that's the only time you stop and stare.

Thats how Jeremy feels currently.

He's lying on the ground, an arrow through his eye, and by this time, Jea had already left, thinking she had killed who she had wished.

(She hadn't.)

So what now? What does he do as blood pools around him but instead of red it's black?

He's cursed and poison wells around him, dripping from every wound and hole in his fruity body.

An arrow through the heart? is that what that was supposed to be because it didn't work and lemons don't even have hearts and anyone with a brain would know that.

And that's why Jea is one of the smartest people in this goddamn Earth because she poisoned that fucking arrow before stabbing it right into his eye.  
So now he can't see and he's alone on the sidewalk in his university. Yeah, the last thing he was expecting was a helping hand.

(Who wouldn't give such a handsome lemon boy a hand?)

He looks up, covering his black eye. The face he sees is unfamiliar. He sniffs and wipes his face with his oven mitt, getting rid of any remaining black oil stuck to his fluffy lemon skin.

The human sticks out a hand with a smile that seems friendly enough.

"Hi I'm Noor, are you okay?" She asks, and when he doesn't respond and only grabs her hand, her smile falters.

"NO IM NOT FUCKIRNG OKAY DO U SEE MY BODY IM BLELEDING" he says and then eats her because she is ignorant. She doesn't scream and instead sacrifices her body to the 7 foot lemon. He honestly finds her lack of struggle off-putting, but pushes negative thoughts away. His health is regained and he has a goal.

(There is one person he must kill.)

Shannon is about to cross the street, airpods in her ears and she looks rich as fuck and- oh my god yup, that strange lemon creature is eating yet another girl and tbh she doesn't even care anymore so she just turns her music up louder while waiting for the OK to cross. Honestly its not really anything fun to look at and yeah never mind she doesn't want to see someone being eaten anymore anyways

(Shannon always comes in at the wrong times, silly Shannon always being so silly)

The skies aren't gray anymore. 

For Jeremy that is. They used to be a mundane gray along with everything else in his life, but after the arrow found its way into his eye socket he has seen nothing but black skies and black trees. Black horizons and black sunrises. He's sick of it all. He's sick of the stupid frat house he basically nurtures and he's sick of the stupid boys who have peas for brains that inhabit it.

It's an ecosystem and he has to destroy it. So he does.

(Jeremy blows up his frat house.)

He expected to feel a little remorse but he doesn't? Even though he expected himself to feel bad he isn't surprised that he doesn't. If that makes sense. A lot of things are foggy in Jeremy's mind and he's definitely not the lemon he used to be. He overexerts himself but not in a good way so its kind of nice to rest in his front yard and watch the rest of his hell house burn into ashes. There were people inside but there aren't anymore and it makes Jeremy laugh but it shouldn't but he doesn't give a shit because he's going insane and there's nobody to stop him.

(Or maybe there is?)

He feels a hand on his shoulder, his eye widens and he turns around instantly, grabbing his presumed attacker by the neck. His eyes widen when he sees the face and holy shit-

He flings the person like a rag doll across the street, but they just use their feet to bounce and reflect off the building on the opposite side, sending them barreling into Jeremy.

Churro.

The last time he had seen her was 3 years ago.. He thought she had moved to England so what the fuck was she doing here in California at his University? 

More importantly, why was she trying to kill him?

(Probably because u just chucked her across the street at a house you idiot.)

He doesn't have time to think because he's getting beat on like bitch omggg lmaooooo anyways 

He's sick and tired of letting his old girlfriend punch him in the face, so he pulls out an AK-47 and guns her down on the spot.

After that he eats her to regain the strength he lost. He needs to become a boss... like a Minecraft boss………… ;3;

(Creeper aww man so we back in the mine got our pickaxe swinging from side to side side side to side this task a grueling one hope to find some diamonds to nite nite tie tie tint nite nite hands up u hear a sound turn around and look up total shock fills ur body oh no its u again how could I forget those eyes eyes eye eye cause bb to nite)

Jeremy doesn't know what fucking time it is.  
He only knows that its dark but that doesn't help because the sky is always dark and he can't fix it because his vision is slowly starting to fail him.

It might have been a bad idea to burn his frat house because now he doesn't have anywhere to stay and he's just walking aimlessly around campus.  
Then he has an idea. He knows a place, where it's always going... the party never stops.

Jackson's frat.

(Audrey's second home.)

(IM SO ANNOYING SDKJSKJGJS ANYWAYS)

The door is always open to the house so he saunters right in, and almost instantly his ear holes are flooded with music. For once he can see faint strokes of color dotting his vision because of the strobe lights. The are people everywhere but that's never out of the norm. He knows what he wants, an easy girl-

He sees her. He hadn't been able to get her last time, so this time WILL be different. 

Rowan.

Blonde hair, long, bangs, it was all the same. That stupid red solo cup in her hand. He walks up to her, and the corner of her lips are about to turn up into a smile-

-He knocks the cup out of her hands, and her face drops, nobody notices and the party continues on. Nobody sees him as he drags her up the stairs. She bites his hand off and he turns in a fit of rage but she is already one top of him shoving his own hand down his throat. She looks crazy and she leans down to whisper in his ear hole.

"Carrots are sexier than your mother."

She leaves without another word, an unspoken agreement between them. Those words… hold so much meaning. He stands up and grows another hand after he eats his own. He walks down into the living room. The music is loud and he needs a drink. Too much has gone on and he's only been here for like 3 minutes.

He sits at the bar, and orders a drink, stirring the liquid with the straw they gave them, because Jeremy is evil and says, fuck the turtles.

He was about to take another sip, when the girl next to him lightly taps his shoulder. He turns, she looks sort of familiar, but he's never actually had a conversation with her before, he thinks he name is Bruna but he isn't entirely sure.

"Do you ever wonder what would happen if one of the toys in toy story died?" She begins, looking down at her own drink. "Andy would never know and the rest of the toys would have to watch Andy play with it's lifeless corpse." She smiles, and so does Jeremy.

"Im Jeremy" He says to her, his eyes filled with wonder.

"Bruna." She responds and holds out a hand.

(Bad, bad idea.)

(To think Jeremy was going to spare her.)

He looks at the hand in fury, and tries to break it, but then she disappears out of thin air.

Where did she go?

(Behind you.)

(Don't turn around.)

Jeremy turns around and Bruna is looming over him. Something is sprouting out of her shoulder and it's a person….

Shannon? 

It's Shannon and suddenly she leans forward to take a big bite of of Jeremy's head but he dodges it and instead stands up, now having the height advantage.

He picks them up and puts them into his mouth.

He eats them.

(Shannon is always in the wrong place at the wrong time.)

"Jeremy..?"

He hears it.. it's a small voice laced with fear and he turns around slowly.

It's Carlie. His old best friend.

Didn't she die in the first book?

"Carlie?" He replies, its soft but it isn't the same as when he used to call her name because now his voice his filled with a hidden sickness and toxicity and she doesn't want to believe it but she does.

"W-What.. A-Are y-you d-doing..?" She manages to stutter out, and that's when he sees it.

The parties stopped, the lights are on and it /hurts/ his eyes because suddenly his pupils are shrinking because there's to much light and /everyones/ eyes are on him. He looks around in a panic and there's no more black anymore, there's only white and the music is gone and holy fuck- he needs another drink. But he can't and he's losing the anger he once had, what's going on? He looks at his hands that are supposed to be oven mitts and watches as they shrink and he falls on his knees and Carlie is in front of him, and she's hugging him and everyone is still staring.

He feels tiny in her arms.

(He feels weak.)

He bites her head off like its pizza and the party starts again.

(The world is fucked up but we live in it, but for what? Our own selfish gain? There is nothing nice we can have because with happiness comes pain so erase the happiness and live a mundane lifestyle. Only then will you survive.)

It's been about two weeks since that night. He's grown stronger and is back to his original heigh and build. He's still a looker and that fact will never change. He's not only a looker but also a hooker lol jk it just rhymed aha anyways

He's in a motel room and it's quiet. He likes it but he knows it won't last because it never fucking does.

(There is a knock on the door.)

Of course there is.

He walks to the door, partially expecting it to be room service, but also knowing nothing so simple could happen to him.

To his annoyance he's right and when he opens the door he sees a maid. He was actually expecting something more exciting.

(Don't eat a gift horses mouth)

(wait pause I don't know if that's actually the saying I think it is but idk I want the saying when its like, don't wish what u get for?? WAIT HOLD ON I KNOW IT PLAY PLAY PLAY RESUME)

(Be careful what you wish for.)

The only thing he sees before black is the "maid's" name tag.

It reads Nej.

(Uh oh)

Jeremy wakes up in a cold sweat. He doesn't know where he is and he tries to stand but he's bound to a chair, his legs and arms. His mouth is bound my another cloth, and suddenly a light comes on his figure. Dust is floating lightly through the air and he's /petrified/ he has never wanted to be a particle or an atom more in his life. He struggles before the light shuts off again, and then there's a new spotlight. There are two people, they look different. One he recognizes at the maid… Nej.

The other is a girl he's never seen before. They are both looking at him, and their heads tilt to the right at the same time and it sends a chill down Jeremy's spine. He doesn't like it.

"What are your names?" He asks, his voice wavering and he internally punches himself for showing weakness.

"Nej." The maid one says.

"Princisca." The other one says.

They look like opposites but they are completely in-sync (like the band LOLOLOL) as they walk up to Jeremy, stopping a foot away from him

"Welcome to our play-place." They say simultaneously. It sends fear down Jeremy's lemon body.

"Miss me with that voodoo woodoo shit bitch what the fuck" he says and then shoots them.

they die and he eats their bodies.

(It's so late I've been writing FOR TWO HOURS)

It's two days after that whole event and Jeremy realizes they had brought him to one of those fast-food playhouses and he had just shot two kids but like whatever lmao living like rebels radio rebel #lit haha omg whip nae nae

(I need caffeine I'm so tired I can barely see the screen that rhymed my pool smells like chlorine we sipping on lean I like the singer named dean bitches be beans)

Jeremy is walking down the street when he hears that fucking song he hates so much. He's looking for a specific person but tbh he'll kill ANYONE who plays this song.

(Take the Wheel by Lana)

Honestly it's like, maybe if it was a good song he wouldn't care about it but it's literally awful? The layering is so bad and you can barely hear her voice. The song itself is basic and mainstream and the choreography is nothing to bat an eye about. Honestly the whole production was mediocre and it didn't satisfy him at all.

Anyways he is searching for the source of the music and he sees it.

Malak. He is pretty sure he stomped this girl into a stain but okay lmao whatever.

"Stop playing that song" He says.

"No I only play it because you don't like it and I don't like you."

(Don't mouth off to Jeremy foolish mortal)

Lightning comes down from the sky and hits her and her iPod nano and it kills them both awwww that sucks.

"Are.. you a god..?" Someone says from behind Jeremy, fuck he wasn't careful, he has to take another life awww that sucks.

"Depends what you think a god is." Jeremy replies, a calm tone to his words that sends chills down the others spine aww that sucks.

"A god is someone strong, someone who can do anything, that has all the power in the world, that we worship, the only thing that gives us hope that maybe there is a reason to keep living. Maybe I'm not just a girl with the name Micah, maybe I was put on this earth for a reason-"

"Ok shut up" Jeremy says and shoots her.

(aw that sucks.)

Three weeks go by.

Jeremy has trained his ass off and he's ready.

He's ready to murder his one competitor, his one foe, his ultimate rival.

(He knows just how to do it.)

A YouTuber boxing match.]

]ust kidding.

First, to do what he needs to do, he has to find a stronghold.

Then, a portal.

He slips through the portal, and he's in the Aej, a different world. The ground is a white-yellow stone and there are towers of untouched obsidian littering the small area. The sky is black and the sky falls below the ground. He doesn't have time to take in his surroundings though, because he has a goal.

He has someone to kill.

On a tall stone, sat a girl.

Jea.

Jeanette.

Jeasoos.

Whatever you wanted to call her.

Jeremys greatest enemy.

(Enter!! The greatest showdown of all time.)

Jeremy shoots her and eats her.

She breaks out of his stomach, along with noor and then they grab onto his head, squeezing the life out of him, straight into a glass cup that Audrey is holding.

"When life gives you lemons.." Audrey begins,

"Make lemonade!" Jackson finishes.

**Author's Note:**

> yeah the whole story was a punchline


End file.
